Looking into self-esteem
by Eva Savov
In this Newsletter, I would like to talk about self-esteem, as I believe a lack of it plays a major role in Anxiety Disorders.Throughout the recovery of an Anxiety Disorder, we need to look at our self-esteem issues. The belief in ourselves and our ability to heal plays an imperative role, to overcome an Anxiety Disorder. As humans we operate on all three levels, mind, body and emotions. Therefore, we feel anxiety on all three levels, mind, body and our emotions. Man is subjected to tension and this tension becomes anxiety. An animal does not know anxiety, for its life is purely instinctual and sensual. A man however, conjoins body and emotions, sense and reason, therefore lives in the shadow of anxiety. Such anxiety blocks our creative growth. However, such anxiety can also bring us to the realm of creating our own Identity.
At times it feels impossible to get through an hour being positive, let alone through a whole day. However, like I have said many times before, the impossible can become possible if you learn to believe in yourself, and if you have a strong desire to heal.
How do you get off this roller coaster ride? There are many ways. The first and most important thing to gain self-esteem is to stop looking for approval and acceptance from others. Stop trying to please everyone else and start caring for yourself. The ironic part about this whole issue is, we long for approval and acceptance from others, yet we cannot approve and accept ourselves. We want others to care for us, yet we do not know how to care for ourselves. We want others to like us, yet we do not like ourselves. How can we expect so much from others, when we cannot give to ourselves?
Most of us are afraid of being ourselves, because we are fearful of rejection. We are masters at disguising our true feelings and thoughts by wearing different masks. We say 'yes' with a smile, however underneath that smile resides a 'no', but we do not dare say or show that, in case they stop liking us. To create your own Identity and gain self esteem, we need to learn to peel off the masks we wear and show our true selves. Our true thoughts and feelings, without the fear of being rejected.
Here are a few ways that you can start to care for yourself and gain self esteem:
- upon waking up, for the first 20 minutes do something that you like. This can be reading a paragraph from your favourite book, listening to music, whatever you do, do not listen to the news, or read the paper, unless it is the comic section, do not have coffee
- start being more tolerant and accepting of one self
- stop trying to be perfect
- each day, do something nice for yourself, you deserve it
- choose to have a good day, stay positive
- choose to be alive
- have a bath, go for a walk, smell a flower
- play with children
- go to the gym, and
- start believing you are worth it and you deserve to be happy.
